I NEED YOUR HELP!
My dilemma of the day is the summary for my latest manuscript. I am putting together my "pitch" so that I can get busy sending out queries and hopefully find an agent.
Basisally summaries are the death of me. I hate them. They are so vital and so hard to write. I'm never satisfied with what I come up with so I'm asking for advice from anyone willing to put in their two cents. (Especially any advice from other writers or the book bloggers out there because so many of you summarize every book you review. You've done it a million times and many of those times it's your summary that makes me want to read the book, not the one I find on the book itself.)
This is the pitch I have so far...
Ellie’s sweet sixteen is a summer of firsts. First car. First kiss. First boyfriend. First serial-killing stalker?
Hockey-obsessed tomboy Ellie Westley has never been the object of a guy’s affection before. So when the hottest boy she’s ever seen moves in across the street and starts treating her like she’s the center of his universe, naturally she’s going to be a little skeptical. But everything starts to make sense when girls who look just like Ellie start dying all around the city. Obviously the new guy is the killer, and of course he only likes her because he wants to slice her into tiny pieces. Right?
The more Ellie gets to know Seth the more she’s convinced he’s a psychopathic killer. The problem is he’s the sweetest psychopathic killer she’s ever met. Not to mention he’s brutally hot. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t help but fall for him.
Will Ellie’s summer of firsts turn out to be a summer of lasts?
Sure it tells the basic plot of the story and I think it even shows a little of Ellie's voice and character. My problem is that it doesn't say anything about what I consider to be the "heart" of the story. It doesn't mention the identity crisis Ellie faces in the story. It doesn't hint about the best friend she finds in her older sister or any of the "coming of age" aspects of the story as Ellie discovers her inner girl and falls in love for the first time.
My question is, is mentioning those things important in your pitch? Or do you simply stick with the main "plot" of the story in order to keep it short and simple? I would love to hear any and all thoughts people have not only on this summary but any experiences you've had in writing your own pitches. Any tips you'd like to share?