"Self Control, Or Lack Thereof"
I am such an idiot. I totally screwed up tonight. But Aves
was just so cute that I forgot I can’t treat her like any other girl.
It started after school when she came up to me in the
parking lot after school, all red in the face, saying she had something for me.
I was intrigued, but it just turned out to be the boxer shorts I’d pinned to
her wall last night. I was a little bummed that she didn’t want to keep them,
but, then, she did seem almost petrified of them. She blushed so deep when she
handed them over that you’d think she’d been the one to take them off me
personally. It was hilarious! The girl seriously kills me with how prude she
Then, as if that weren’t enough, she demanded that I let her
help me study for my physics test. She actually crossed her arms and stomped
her foot down when I started to say that wasn’t necessary. She was trying so
hard to look stern and I laughed at her because Avery is not the stubborn demanding type. When I laughed, she got mad and
yelled at me that she knows I’m smarter than I give myself credit for and that
she was going to prove it to me, and I had to just deal with it.
Part of me wanted to laugh again because she was being so
adorable, but I had this strange feeling in my chest that kept me from doing
it. I didn’t know what to say. Nobody ever thinks I’m smart, and they
definitely wouldn’t go out of their way to help me fix my grades. I’ve never
really had anyone believe in me like that before except for my parents.
Avery is too freaking sweet for her own good. My brother is
such a tool for throwing her away like he did. The idiot. Oh well. His loss is
my gain. I’ve decided that Avery is mine now, and I’m not giving her back to
him even if he does manage to pull his head out of his butt someday and realize
what a mistake he made.
Anyway, back to Avery. I really hate studying, but how could
I say no to her? I plopped her in the front seat of my car and took her back to
her place where I had my first ever study-date that actually involved studying.
Well, it had the pretense of studying. My textbook was open anyway.
Avery was trying to help me study, but it was really hard to
concentrate when we were on her bed and she smelled good enough to eat. I think
it was her shampoo. She had her hair in these two braids like some kind of
farmer, and every time she leaned close to me to point something out in my book,
her hair would brush against me and I’d get this whiff of strawberries and
cream. It was driving me crazy!
Avery was trying so hard to keep me focused, but all I could
think about were those adorable braids. I kept tugging on them and I knew it
was driving her insane, but I seriously couldn’t help myself. Finally she
snapped at me to stop it, so I pulled the rubber bands out of her hair and
untangled the braids.
Bad idea. Taking a girl’s hair down is such a turn on.
Aves froze when I started undoing her braids. I didn’t mean
to invade her personal space like that, but once I’d started I couldn’t stop myself.
The moment was too freaking hot! I got
the braids undone and then ran my fingers through her hair to shake it out.
I wanted to kiss her so bad. Her lips were right there. My
hands were tangled in her hair. I wanted to lay her back on the absurd mound of
stuffed animals behind us, and kiss away all of her innocence.
Too late, I realized my mistake. The girl was freaked out. Her
face was white as a sheet and she stared at me with her big blue eyes full of
shock. She’d also stopped breathing.
I waited for her to go into one of her panic fits, but it’s
like she was too shocked to even accomplish that. Since she wasn’t having a
complete meltdown, I decided to go with the whole pretend-it-didn’t-happen
tactic. I shrugged, told her the braids had looked too dorky—even though they
didn’t—and then asked some really stupid question about something sciencey.
Avery let it drop, but she wasn’t the same after that. She
sat further away from me, she spoke a lot softer and a lot less, and she didn’t
laugh again for the rest of the night.
I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid! I know Avery isn’t the kind of girl who
makes out just because the moment is right. She hasn’t even ever been kissed!
I’m a world-class jerk just for thinking about it!
I am so in over my head with this project. I had no idea it
would be so hard to control myself with Aves. I mean it’s Avery for crying out loud! She’s practically been a little sister
to me all my life. And she’s not even hot! She’s only cute. But all of the
sudden cute has become irresistible. The girl is constantly in my head. She’s
under my skin. I even asked her to go out with me tomorrow night, and I wasn’t
thinking about the experiment. I just want to take her out.
I’ve got to keep it together. I’m going to have to plan
something in a large group and very public. No more hanging out alone together,
or I’m going to end up kissing her, and it’ll probably send her into a shock