Serial Hottie – top ten list
Because why not?
Ellie’s Top 10 Tips for Stalking Your Hot Neighbor
10. Decorate a keepsake box and put stuff that reminds you of him in it. Pictures ofhim. Pencils he loaned you that you never returned… whatever you want.
9. Enlist a partner. You need someone who can run interference, keep a lookout, and stay up late obsessing with you.
8. If he has a sister, she is now your best friend.
7. Learn his schedule. School. Work. Sports games. Then find reasons to be in those places at the same time.
6. Dress to the occasion. If you’re following him secretly, wear a disguise. If you want him to notice you, learn his tastes and dress accordingly.
5. Join his extra curricular activities. He’s in the marching band? Learn the clarinet. He need’s a French tutor? Learn French.
4. The internet is your friend. Social networks, personal blogs, chat forums… Chances are he’s already helping you learn everything about his personal life.
3. Keep your camera phone ready at all times. You never know when you’ll need to snap a picture for evidence. (Or just one for your personal collection.)
2. Have an excuse ready. If he catches you someplace he thinks you shouldn’t be, (like in his garage going through his stuff…) you have to be ready to explain yourself.
And the #1 tip for stalking your hot neighbor:
If (and only if) you discover he is a psycho killer, call the cops and find a new crush!